December 2010
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Four-plus years in New York City. In that time: I’ve started new friendships, ended old ones, got OK with the idea of needing to nurse my share of fairweather friends, and all the while kept the most difficult ones—the ones that span hundreds, thousands of miles—vibrant and alive. I’ve also learned that the best friends are the ones who will be with you as your entire life...
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Netiquette.
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The Google Image Search for "I don't get boys"...
via merylfriedman:
…is much more funny/random than “I don’t get guys” or “I don’t get men” (which is all Cheryl Cole photos [I’m looking at you, Rohin]).
…
Aatom you cannot expect me to wait three hours for...
I bill by the minute.
Also Aatom
I am sending you all messages via text and email because my phone is supremely messed for unknown reasons!
Hey Aatom I was trying to call you to tell you to...
but my phone is being a dickhead. Could you email me then?
Don’t wear flip-flops, please! Stilettos are supposed to hurt. That’s why...
– Sherry Vine’s New Years Eve fashion advice on the New York Times! Love it! (via merylfriedman)
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My entire family just Skyped me from New Zealand
…and a Happy New Year.
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I know several of you are waiting on those "press...
they exist! Birds of Lace ended up working around the clock to fill paid orders before Christmas because, well, they’re paid orders. But I think press copies were mailed out recently. Apologies for keeping you in the dark, but I think/hope/pray/[verb] you will like it when it arrives in your mail receptacle!
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So, like, I was cooking some spaghetti (meat,...
…and now I think the middle finger on my left hand can’t leave a fingerprint if it needed to do such a thing because there is a big red callus that hurts whenever I apply pressure on it, like when I use it to type the letter e.
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By the way, in that cardboard box was a Christmas present. I don’t make it a habit to walk around with a cardboard box.
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Dear tourists and pedestrians who have forgotten...
You see me coming. You can’t miss me. I am 6’2”. I am not slight of build. You also see me holding a large cardboard box. My cardboard box and I do not want to smash your face. However, when you suddenly launch yourself in my direction, you also give up your right to be angry at me for hitting you with my cardboard box. Also, acting startled slows both of us down from getting to...
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In my apartment building, sometimes there is a...
Everything is so transient.
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Is anyone else monitoring “Mayor Bloomberg” on Twitter? There is such fury there.
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Cabbie courtesy.
CABBIE: Why do you have to go to Bushwick? Why can’t you go to Manhattan? The snow’s all plowed in Manhattan. ME: Uh, because I can afford Bushwick? CABBIE: Do you mind if I smoke in here? ME: Yes. I’m allergic. Sorry!
[…]
CABBIE: (an hour later) The streets are a mess here. ME: Looks like they didn’t bother to clean it properly. CABBIE: Yeah, the city sucks.
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Intimate conversations with Snowmageddon.
• “HA HA HA, I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE BY MAKING YOUR FLIGHT DIVERT FOR TWO DAYS TO A MAKE-BELIEVE WILDERNESS THAT SOME PEOPLE CALL ROCHESTER, NEW YORK, HA HA HA.”
• ”HA HA HA, I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOUR DIGESTIVE SYSTEM BY MAKING YOU SUBSIST ON NOTHING BUT COFFEE AND CHINESE FOOD FOR TWO DAYS, HA HA HA.”
• ”HA HA HA I AM GOING TO DESTROY YOUR FINANCES BY...
Nine songs that were incredible this year, but not...
10. Cheryl Cole, “Parachute”
As far as singers go, few are worse than Cheryl Cole! Still, this was a heartbreaking humdinger that curiously worked. 09. Lady Gaga, “Alejandro”
If “Bad Romance” had been released this year, it would be sitting higher in this list and in the place of this song. But it wasn’t, so that’s that. 08. The Pipettes,...
Nine songs that were incredible this year, but not...
10. Cheryl Cole, “Parachute”
As far as singers go, few are worse than Cheryl Cole! Still, this was a heartbreaking humdinger that curiously worked. 09. Lady Gaga, “Alejandro”
If “Bad Romance” had been released this year, it would be sitting higher in this list and in the place of this song. But it wasn’t, so that’s that. 08. The Pipettes,...
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Mission failed.
1. Throw clothes on and manage to board shuttle to airport. 2. Approach security checkpoint. 3. Only realize 5 minutes after the fact that you were subjected to the radiation poisoning picture machine which takes pictures of your no-no zone and that you were patted down aggressively by an older man. 4. Manage to carry 35 pounds of carry-on baggage to the gate where crudely-taped-up signs explain,...
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In their panic, the mob all boarded a shuttle to...
I suppose the comfort of hotel rooms is surpassed by the sterility of an airport terminal!
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It's the quietest week of the year, so pipe down.
There are so many busy businesspersons who are all a-titter about how they can’t get back to New York to their jobs, but in many industries, it’s also one of the slowest weeks of the year. It’s even irritating to see everyone milling about the hotel lobby frenetically. Milling frenetically will not get you to jobs any quicker, so just accept that the Snowmageddon has bested you...
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Everywhere, the winds whispered and moaned in... →
New York Times, I know this is a snowstorm, but WHO is writing this garbage?
However the A, C, E, J and Z lines were running... →
The one time of year when the J and Z can actually be counted on for regular service!
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Stranded in Rochester, New York, so here is a video of me reading “Eyjafjallajökull No. 8” from Relief Work.
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Boxing Day Misery, Or How I Ended Up Stranded in...
A thing I enjoy about airlines is their commitment to shortsightedness! In DTW, a gate agent was unable to give me a seat assignment until the last possible minute (just as they finished boarding the entire plane) which is still better than that lady who had booked her flight a month in advance only to be told that the flight was oversold. Dear airplane companies, how do you oversell flights? Do...
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I think more people would do yoga if there was a...
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