So last night, I kept it local and went to a couple of neighborhood hangouts—objectively cute places! places like Northeast Kingdom—only to have my tabbed close at 2 AM, which was actually 1 AM because of Chronos, the god of time, rickrolling all of mankind or something. It was worse because Northeast Kingdom was operating on Slow Person Standard Time and for no reason took upwards of 11 minutes getting around to serving my friends and I fairly simple drinks. So when we found out we had to head out, we went up an avenue to some other bar and I don’t remember the name of it but they were like, “We’re closed! We know it’s now technically 1 AM, but I just worked 11 hours!” and in my head, I was thinking, “Why on Earth are you wanting to not make money?”

We eventually found this other place, which I feel like I should tell you about because it is cute, the bartender is handsome, and draft beers are served in mason jars. It is Pearl’s Social and Billy Club and for reasons I’m not sure of, they were playing a dubstep remix of an Ellie Goulding song, which really is alright in my book.