October 12, 2009
This is Nakoma, Pocahontas’ absurdly bookish best friend. She is clearly sidekick material as demonstrated by her severe bangs and her obviously unsexy appearance. She’s the Nicky Hilton to Pocahontas’ Paris Hilton. But because she’s a complete figment of Disney’s imagination, she was obviously MIA when John Smith kidnapped Pocahontas at age 10 and also when the English held her hostage and also when her dad refused to pay the ransom. Pocahontas died by age 22 and Nakoma was nowhere to be seen. Wikipedia really harshes my mellow. Happy Columbus Day, y’all.

This is Nakoma, Pocahontas’ absurdly bookish best friend. She is clearly sidekick material as demonstrated by her severe bangs and her obviously unsexy appearance. She’s the Nicky Hilton to Pocahontas’ Paris Hilton.

But because she’s a complete figment of Disney’s imagination, she was obviously MIA when John Smith kidnapped Pocahontas at age 10 and also when the English held her hostage and also when her dad refused to pay the ransom. Pocahontas died by age 22 and Nakoma was nowhere to be seen. Wikipedia really harshes my mellow.

Happy Columbus Day, y’all.




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